According to a psychologist and author of The Many Sides of Human Behavior excessive obsession is a consuming preoccupation with the object of your love, to the extent of neglecting other people, interest and responsibilities that make up your life. A moderate level of obsession love simply means you're thoughtful about the relationship and sensitive to the other person's feelings.

But if some obsession is okay, how much is too much? Where do you draw the line? Recognizing when you've crossed the line from healthy to excessive obsession is doubly difficult when you're caught in the midst of a tumultuous affair. You can survey the overall pattern of a stormy romance by determining how intensely you're obsessed with your man.

There's a warning signs that show you have let obsession love go too far and the man you love probably is not the right one for you. You start wrapping your life around the man, frantic to make him love you. But when love makes you anxious, you tend to lose all sense of how you're being treated. As you invest more and more of yourself in this man, you can easily blind yourself to the little clues that the relationship is hurting your heart or this man isn't to be trusted added the psychologist.

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Signs that say your man is not the right one for you:

He doesn't want to see you talking to another man who is ten feet away.
He always interrupts when you talk. He would only listen to you when he feels he like it.
He wouldn't easily forgive you when you're done or said something wrong. In fact, he'll always remind you of that mistake even if a month or so has passed.
Whenever he has done something wrong, he is quick to defend himself until you'll feel guilty for ever having to point out that he has offended you. He is an expert in making you say 'sorry' for every fight you've had.
He doesn't want your friend to know that you're having a fight. He believes it would adversely affect your friends perception of him and that would be bad for his ego.
He loves seeing you begging for his mercy.
He is quick to criticize you or your language, clothes, job, grades- even choice of friends.
He believes you'll be so sorry without him and in fact, you can't live without him.

Are the signs familiar? Are you making him the center of your life that you are already starting to overlook some things in yours? If you're exerting so much time and energy to please the wrong man, you're wasting yourself away. The best thing to do is to leave him- that would certainly hurt his ego and make him realize his mistake at the same time says a psychologist.

Following is a step-by-step plan to keep you from walking away from your man and get him out of your mind, shared from a psychologist:

Write him a long letter. Details all the ways he has hurt you and has treated you poorly. Don't mail the letter, keep it. Whenever you're tempted to call him, read the letter instead.
Face facts. Recognize there's no way you can force him to love you more, and he has already proven he's unwilling or unable to do that.
Think about him a lot. If despite your best efforts, you simply can't stop thinking about him, set aside a 30-minute "obsession time" once a day, when you must think about him. By forcing yourself to think about him, you may find that thinking just becomes boring.
Think of yourself five years from now. Think of yourself still with him, struggling with same old problems with no change in your relationship. As you give up the belief that you can force this man to love you, you'll undoubtedly experience some grief but in the end, giving up on excessive obsession frees you to move on.

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