Self esteem and confidence are often talked of in the same breath, because without one it's hard to achieve the other. To be truly confident in yourself you need to have self worth, and self worth is invariably gained at the same time an individual develops self esteem. Feeling worthwhile as a person is something which comes out of rewarding experiences where individuals learn that they are important and have something good to offer.

The first impression of self esteem individuals gain tends to happen in childhood, when caregivers provide love and attention for their children, and let them know they are safe and valued as people. When parents and other role models don't provide children with the message that they're important and cared about, individuals who lack self esteem, and ultimately confidence, are produced. However, there are ways anyone can step up their self esteem level and increase confidence.

Create a confidence book

In a large scrapbook stick photographs of you taken when you were happy. Choose pictures in which you're smiling, or at least can remember you were experiencing positive emotions at the time. Intersperse photographs with photocopies of certificates, and information regarding personal achievements. Also staple or stick cards and letters you've received in the past which make you feel good into the book. Every few pages or so jot down positive affirmations, or lists of things you've done you are proud of.

Be the star of your book, and use it to remind yourself of how great you are, and about things which make you happiest. When you are low, or feeling a lack of confidence, let your book give you an ego boost as you browse through it.

Positive talk

People who lack confidence and self esteem often have a negative little voice in their head which pipes up uninvited when a situation occurs which threatens to take them out of their safety zone. The voice may whisper negative massages when an individual is due to go to a party, telling them that they aren't popular or won't be liked. It may surface when the individual feels attracted to someone, making them think their feelings won't be reciprocated and that they're ugly.

The voice, although it seems like an enemy, is just the brains way of attempting to protect an individual from being in what could be a challenging or uncomfortable situation. Unfortunately, although well meaning, the voice is a bad best friend, as it gives advice which keeps the individual from branching out, meeting new people, having new experiences and reaching full potential.

If you recognise when the voice speaks to you, or your bad best friend comes to you as a feeling which is negative and prevents you from having a good time, mentally change what it's telling you. Alter negative words or phrases you come up with in your head, and make them positive. Thus, "don't go to the party because you'll feel stupid as no one will talk to you," may become, "go to the party where you'll meet new friends and have fun."

Plan a new experience each month of the year

As people who lack confidence rarely try new things, for fear of failure, you need to alter your mindset and teach yourself that you are capable of success. It's fine to start small if you like, but the new experiences you plan, and do, should challenge you in some way. You may not want to begin by going skydiving, but traveling alone via a form of transport which you are usually nervous of, or getting a completely new hairstyle when you don't generally alter your looks, could do the trick.

By recognising what makes you happy and what you've already achieved in life you will begin to see that you are a more successful person than you first imagined. If you combine this knowledge with new challenges and positive self talk, you will be well on your way to increasing your self esteem and becoming a more confident person.