The standard elements in a bar mitzvah party can vary, and you can add an endless number of special touches to your event. Here are a few of the elements you are most likely to find in an Israeli bar mitzvah celebration.

You can figure out how to give the standard bar mitzvah party elements your own twist, and what to add or subtract from the standard bar mitzvah equation. There are various ways of celebrating a bar mitzvah, but here I want to tell you about the elements of a bar mitzvah party that you can add to make your bar/bat mitzvah extra special.

The sign-in album

At the entrance to the bar mitzvah party have a small table with an album on it. The album should compile photos of the bar mitzvah boy in various poses from the photo shoot he has had with the photographer. Alternatively if you have not taken professional photos, fill the album with photos of the bar mitzvah boy through the years at various ages. Make sure you leave a blank page next to each photo, in other words stick the photos only on one side of the page. This way there is room in the album for guests to write a small message and wish the bar mitzvah boy a happy birthday. Make sure you leave some good pens on the table, perhaps silver or gold art pens, and if this is a new idea in your area put a small sign asking guests to please write in the album. This album makes a great memento for the bar mitzvah boy that he will look back on for years to come.

Party favors

Bar mitzvah party favors need to be tasteful as after all the bar mitzvah is a religious occasion even if you are having a disco. The favors can be handed out either as the guests enter, left on their plates, or given at the end of the bar mitzvah party. There are many party favors on line but I suggest you use the Internet just to get ideas and then create your own party favor which is connected to the bar mitzvah boy in some way. The party favor could relate to the religious aspect of a bar mitzvah and include items in the shape of a torah scroll, a tallit shawl or tephiline. Another option is to tie the party favor into the theme of the party itself, or to a characteristic of the bar mitzvah boy. If the bar mitzvah boy is a musician relate the favor to music, if he plays a sport relate it to that, or animals, books, sweets, a favorite color, anything which will remind the guests of the bar mitzvah event and the main protagonist of the evening.

Sweets

A new trend in Israeli bar mitzvah parties is to add sweets (candy) to the other food and deserts offered by the caterer or events hall. All you have to do is find a whole sale sweet outlet and buy a large quantity of sweets. Then you can either arrange them on trays to be laid out on side tables, or perhaps put the sweets on wooden skewers and arrange in vases as if they were flowers. These can be placed on each table at an appropriate time, and the guests can help themselves to a skewer of sweets. Alternatively the trays of sweets can be placed on the bar. It is just an added extra that makes the event that little bit sweeter.

Party toys

There are plenty of party toys that can be distributed to the bar mitzvah guest when they are dancing such as confetti guns, streamers, horns, hooters, rattles, funny party hats or pompons.

Meal brachah

At various printers you can get a brachon – a card with the after meal blessing printed on it - as well as your son's picture, name or the words "mazel tov". These can be placed on each plate for the bar mitzvah guests.

Photo montage

This is a selection of photos of the bar mitzvah boy that have been turned into a slideshow. The photos are usually of the bar mitzvah boy from birth and up until the present, they can also include photos specifically taken for the bar mitzvah. This photo slide show of the bar mitzvah boy is usually part of a photographer's package which he offers the bar mitzvah boy's family.

Film clip

The photographer can also make a film clip of the bar mitzvah boy. This can be of the boy in various familiar surroundings, such as his home and school. It can also include scenes specifically filmed in beautiful parks or on the beach. The clip should say something about the bar mitzvah boy and what he is like. For example if he is into sports the clip can include shots of him playing his sport, if he rides horses he can be filmed riding. Sometimes these clips include close friends and family. The film clip is shown at some point in the bar mitzvah party and the guests are asked to be seated and watch the film on a screen, alternatively it can run repetitively throughout the event as a background point of interest.

Candle lighting

The most common and widely used attraction at a bar mitzvah party is the lighting of the candelabra. The events hall usually provides a giant candelabrum with room for 14 candles – one for each of the bar mitzvah boy's years and one for the coming year. A ceremony is performed where the bar mitzvah boy either lights a candle in honor of important people in his life, or he invites them on stage to light the candle themselves. The tradition of inviting the honorees to come up and light the candles has gone out of fashion because of the time it takes some relatives to reach the candelabra, you can sit for a good 5 minutes waiting for granny Cohen to hobble up and light a candle, so instead the bar mitzvah boy reads a few words about how much he values granny, and then he lights the candle in her honor.

The candles are usually for: Grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, friends, the Israeli army, perhaps in memory of fallen soldiers or Gilad Shalit, and even teachers. You can give this ceremony your own twist by varying the reason for lighting the candles, perhaps they can be lit for virtues, stages in life, in honor of religious figures, the bar mitzvah boy can name charities he will donate to or a candle for each of the dreams he has for his future.

Drasha

The bar mitzvah boy's speech is usually either a religious speech about the weekly torah portion or a speech of thanks to all those who have helped him to reach this point in his life. Sometimes it is a combination of both. If it is religious sometimes a rabbi is asked to write the speech for the bar mitzvah boy. From my experience, although the bar mitzvah is a religious event, this is a party and when the religious speech starts people tend to drift off, so if you are going to make it religious, make it short. The speech can also be delivered in rap; by the whole bar mitzvah family; sung or turned into a short "thank you all for coming, enjoy the party"!

Entertainers

The variety is endless: dancers, jugglers, magicians, singers, fire eaters and the list goes on... My recommendation is not to make the entertainment such an issue that the bar mitzvah boy gets forgotten. If it is a singer then at least the dancing can continue throughout the performance, but a magician for example needs everyone seated and quiet. Try to find something that fits into an overall theme of the bar mitzvah party.

Center pieces

The table center pieces are usually candles or flowers but you can create something that fits into a theme. Alternatively make the center piece edible or a collection of party favors which can be taken home at the end of the bar mitzvah party.

Whatever you choose there are three main things to keep in mind 1) make the bar mitzvah party about the bar mitzvah boy 2) don't ignore the religious aspect of a bar mitzvah, and 3) coordinate all the elements of the party around a theme which is some how related to the bar mitzvah boy or the significance of the bar mitzvah.

 You may find these articles about bar mitzvah party planning useful:

https://knoji.com/how-to-plan-an-israeli-bar-mitzvah-israeli-bar-mitzvah-party-timeline/

https://knoji.com/party-planning-tips-how-to-start-planning-your-sons-bar-mitzvah-celebration/

https://knoji.com/what-clothes-to-wear-to-a-bar-mitzvah-party-or-a-bat-mitzvah-celebration/