The Power of Female Friendship
The power of female friendship in our lives is so powerful that the pain of failed friendship can hurt more than a failed romance. The bond between us and our female friends is so potent and yet so fragile.
If you ask people at random, they will tell you that friends rank low in their priority list. This gives an impression that friends are just optional in a person's life. Psychologist think otherwise, they feel that having friends is a need and a successful long-term friendship is essential. Why is this so? The reason according to them is that since we are not as committed to our friends as we are to our parents, spouse or children, then we feel more relaxed with our friends. While our friends demand some of our time and effort, they know that they cannot impose on us as our family can.
The Glue that Bonds
We once believed that women can be contented staying at home or in their little, self-contained worlds while men needed to bond with other men to face challenges and conquer the world. Further studies proved that belief to be wrong. On the contrary, it is now believed that women are actually the ones who are bonding. Men and women can become good friends too, just as men can bond with other men as closely as women bond with other women. But the main difference between male friendships and female friendships is that male friendships are geared towards companionship, while female friendships are focused on emphatic sharing. Women talk about their inner feelings and deepest thoughts when they are in the company of their female friends. On the other hand conversation among male friends usually revolve around politics, economy, sports or religion.
Three Levels of Friendship
Women have many friends but psychologists cite three distinct categories of friendship. These are:
Casual friend. Most of our friends probably fall under this category. They are fun to be with, but on a shallower basis. You go with them more for fun and entertainment rather than intimacy. They are the friends you shouldn't open up your private life.
Close friend. Usually, you have four or six of them. There is also a high level of trust and loyalty between close friends. There are times, though, when you hold back a bit and times when you'd rather not to be with them.
Best friend. You normally have one or two best friends. The relationship is the friend who has the most similar values with what you have. Her thoughts, experiences and emotions are very similar to yours.
When to End a Friendship
It may be better to end a friendship even if it hurts. A friend who's never there for you but demands presence for her, you are better off without her. One who doesn't share your values and puts you down, is a destructive friend. If you honestly feel that the friendship has to end, then do so gradually, stop calling and writing as often as you used to. Be less available for invitation. Find excuses not to see and not to give in to her request. She should get the message.
Resource: CHIC Magazine