As an adult, you have all the freedom in the world to do literally whatever you want. Sushi for breakfast? You got it. Wearing pajamas every day of the week? No problem (unless you’re working in an office, in which case, maybe check your dress code policy first). 

But making a new friend? Somehow that was just infinitely easier as a kid.

In this article, we’re going to share with you 10 messages you can send to potential new friends. Because everyone knows making friends outside of school can be tough. We’re all in this together, and it’s about time we helped each other out. Or at the very least, reached out to one another. Now, click on your social media app of choice, and get to DM’ing.

A Message to Send Someone Who Lives in the City You Just Moved To

Hi! We’ve been following each other for a while, and I just moved to XXX. I’d love to connect with you if you’re free this weekend. Maybe we can grab coffee at that place you’re always posting on your stories? 

This message works best if you’ve already got a mutual friend or follow someone who lives in the area to which you just moved. Moving to a new city can be challenging. From learning the best routes to get to and from work to finally finding the perfect grocery store that has all your needs, getting into the groove of a new city is a challenge. And the best way to make things easier is having a new friend guiding you along.

Hey this is sort of crazy and hopefully not creepy, but I recently moved to XXX and am looking to make new friends! I figured I’d shoot my shot if you’d wanna meet for lunch? There’s this cute place near me that I’ve been wanting to check out! LMK when you’re free.

You’re a daring person. You just moved to a new city, after all. Keep that gusto going. Be daring. DM that girl. Friend dating can be just as stressful as actually dating, but the people you meet and the friends you make could be in your life forever. 

A Message for a Missed Connection

I had so much fun at the networking event last night, and it was so great meeting you! I was wondering if you’d want to get together sometime to talk shop- and just get to know each other. You seem awesome and I need more awesome women in my life.

Send this message to someone you met at a work event. Just because you didn't get that girl’s number when you were out, doesn’t mean it’s too late. Social media can bring us together. You just have to make the first move.

OMG I wanted to thank you for the confidence boost in the bar bathroom last night. You and your friends were so cool and I really want to hang with y’all again. Here’s my number if you want to grab drinks this week: XXX-XXX-XXXX. 

Potential partners aren’t the only people you can meet at the bar. Your future friend could be in the bathroom hyping you up for your bold outfit choice too. The best way to move the friendship from Insta mutuals to besties is by direct messaging the person you met. I mean, they’ve got to have the same taste as you, y’all were at the same bar or drinking the same drink, after all.

Reconnecting with an Old Friend

XXX, hey! I know it’s been a while, but I was wondering if you wanted to catch up sometime soon. I miss you, and I’d love to reconnect if you’re available this week after work.

Friends are like seasons; they’re ever-changing. But the thing about seasons is they always come back around. Even if you haven’t talked to your fifth-grade BFF since, like, fifth grade, it doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. You have the power to meet up with an old friend and rekindle what once was. 

XXX long time no talk! I was just passing by the old fro-yo shop we used to go to after school and it made me think of you. I was thinking maybe we should get together soon — I miss our weekly hangouts, and I miss you. 

The good thing about social media is it connects people even if you’ve gotten disconnected in the past. Before social media became really popular, it was hard to stay in touch with friends and acquaintances you’ve made. But now, rekindling something is just a friend request or DM away. 

Going to Meet a Friend of a Friend

Hi! This is going to sound really random, but I was just at a party with XXX and she told me that you’re also into *insert hobby here.* I was wondering if you wanted to go to a class with me next week! I have an extra pass.

Your friends have good taste — that’s something you have bonded over. So if you have a friend who has a friend with the same interests as you, the likelihood of you getting along with the mutual friend is very high. 

So I was talking to XXX and she mentioned that you also love camping. A couple of my friends are going up to Big Bear in a few weeks, and I know that we don’t really know each other, but I thought I’d extend the invitation. Because anyone who’s a fan of camping, I’m a fan of. 

Commonalities are what bridge the gap between two strangers. So when you hang out for the first time and eventually, but definitely, have your first awkward silence, you can always fall back on the thing you both love, whether it’s a hobby or your mutual friend.

Meeting a Coworker IRL

Was it just me, or was this morning’s meeting crazy? I can’t believe XXX said that in front of our boss! When I saw you roll your eyes on the Zoom call, I had to message you, because I felt the SAME WAY! I’m actually going to *insert where the coworker lives* this week. Do you want to grab a drink and gossip about work? I’m dying to share my conspiracy theories with someone.

If you’re like the rest of the world, you’re probably working from home. That shouldn’t stop you from having a work wife, though (and by the way, the term work wife is gender neutral). If you have good Zoom rapport with that guy in HR or the woman in sales, you should DM them. 

Hey, I know we live a million miles away, but I’ve really had a lot of fun getting to know you in our morning meetings. This may sound crazy (or brilliant if you’re into it), but would you wanna get lunch sometime? Virtually, I mean. I have a GrubHub account, and could order us food from the same place while we Zoom over lunch. It could feel like we were really together in the break room.

With the technological advancement that we have today, it’s easy to make friends, even if it seems hard at times. By making the first move, virtually or otherwise, you have the chance to get to know people you wouldn’t have ordinarily met — especially if you don’t live in the same city.

Buying Guide

• Create a GrubHub account, and become a GrubHub+ member for free deliveries on meals over $12. That way if you do buy lunch for you and your remote coworker, you’re saving on delivery fees.

• If your first friend date is at your house, consider purchasing a French Press from Honey & Rose. 

• Pair that with an Apothékary frother that would put your local baristas to shame.

• If you want to meet in a public place, or attend a workout class together, you may want to get ClassPass. This health club aggregator partners with tons of gyms, and makes it cheap and easy to sign up for classes — whether it’s just you, or you and a new friend.

• If you want to impress that new friend you invited camping, get the Merry People camping boots.