Reasons Why Men Hold Back From Loving
Men who can't get close may have painful childhood memories that continue to hound them. These guys find it hard to trust other people because of such memories, including their partners. They fear that if they get too involved, they end up broken and hurt.
Studies reveals some of the common traumatic childhood problems that make a man hold back from loving:
Separated Parents. According to psychologist one of the most traumatic experiences that a guy can have is to see his parents separate especially when he is still at a young age. According to a renowned author, if his first romantic relationship with a woman turns out fine, then he may overcome his trauma over his parent's separation. But if his first relationship does not work, then the more he may become prejudiced toward such romantic relationships. Furthermore, a guidance counselor cited that such a man needs constant assurance. He may feel assured that neither he nor the woman is at fault for the separation. He has to have self-confidence that he can someday have a successful man-woman relationship. Otherwise, he may totally close his doors on love and just survive on sex.
Death of Parents. A guy who lost a parent early in his childhood may not yet fully be able to understand the concept of death. Thus, he feels abandoned by missing parents. Before his partner can have a chance to leave him, such a guy has the tendency to break off from a relationship. A psychologist reveal that if your guy has not overcome the early loss of his parents, tell him how you yourself feel over the loss of someone, and that he is not alone in the way he feels. Furthermore, assure him that you are by his side.
Womanizing Father. Studies show that a guy who grew up with a womanizing father is likely to be one who grew up witnessing his parents' frequent fights. He may also subconsciously fear that he might take after his father and be a womanizer himself. He may fear getting involved with any woman for fear of the same chaotic life. Furthermore he may feel guilty that he is likewise womanizing every time he starts getting close with a woman and you could be one of those women. Psychologist cited that you can help such partner by making him realize the difference between womanizing and purely maintaining a clean relationship with members of the opposite sex. That way he will not feel guilty about allowing himself to get close to you and show his feelings.
Mothers Pet. Guys who grew up being their mother's favorite or mama's boys- may find it hard to get close to another women since they fear that no other woman can care for them the way their mother did. Psychologist reveal that you can also correct some of his wrong notions by being a "mother' yourself to him. By doing so, you can assure him that there's nothing wrong about his having grown up close to his mother.
Santos, Lizzie. "So Near and Yet So Far." CHIC Magazine 1 Feb. 1999