Five Things That Tempt a Man to Cheat and Know the Signs of a Cheating Spouse
Not all couples are open to discussing matter like infidelity. But whether they admit it or not, even the most contentedly committed men struggle with temptation to cheat on a fairly regular basis.
According to a renowned author, many men said they see no need to share these feelings with their partners; they worry that doing so would lead to unnecessary turmoil. Here's what your man would tell you about temptation:
Why men cheat
- It's hard to resist a woman in need. It's hard to resist someone who's crying out for sympathy and understanding says a psychologist.
- Ex-girlfriends are always a lure. Many men confessed that the desire to re-ignite old flames seemed to surface at a point when their current relationship was moving to a new level of commitment.
- Coworkers aren't safe. They're a prime source of temptation. By now, men and women have become so accustomed to working side by side that you'd think they'd be able to view one another with professional objectivity. It's amazing how fast the same energy that goes into brainstorming and strategic about work can become sexually charged.
- She's less-than-challenging women can be hardest to resist. Most women assume that temptation comes in the form of a seductive, gorgeous, practically perfect female. Surprisingly, committed men say they're often tempted by women who are less intelligent than wives or girlfriends.
- Familiarity breeds flirtation. Best friend or a girlfriend's roommate, these women are totally off-limits, and maybe that's what makes them so tempting.
Clues that he may be cheating from Recovering From Affairs, A Handbook for Couples, are ways to nail your cheating spouse:
Signs of cheating
- He doesn't want you to visit him at work-for any reason. If he has convinced a co-worker that your marriage is over, he certainly doesn't want you showing up looking like a loving spouse. Nor does he want you to run into the office gossip who just might want to fill you in on the details of his office romance.
- Cheaters are always short on money. If finances have always been tight, this isn't a clue, but if he is always broke and there's no evidence of where the money's going, may be he's been funding fun time with the other woman.
- He's preoccupied with his appearance. He is losing weight, exercising, wearing his hair differently, and has invested in a new wardrobe (particularly new underwear and he doesn't want you to help shopping.)
- He talks in his sleep and is flustered and defensive when you ask him who "sweetie" or "Angel Face" is.
- You begin noticing shirts and tie in his closet that you haven't seen before. He says he's always had them but you're not so sure. Could be the other woman is giving him personal gifts that he feels compelled to keep and wear. Lovers exchange gift, don't they? What's he supposed to do, throw her gifts away?
- You notice that your husband and your best friend are talking a lot. She calls the house to get his advice, which usually means long phone calls in low tones in separate room. You notice that they seem to smile at each other quite often, and particularly when they think no one is watching. One friend suspected her best friend of being the "other woman" when her best friend and her husband were always unavailable at the same time. Her suspicions turned out to be right, they're having an affair.
- He has an open account with a local florist but he never sends you any flowers.
- He would call at 6 p.m., saying he was on his way home. He would show up at 10 or 11 p.m. with a lame excuse.
- When you catch him in a lie, he immediately changes his story and keeps changing it until he thinks he has covered his tracks.
- He started locking the laptop and his check book in his car.
Quotes about life and love
Whitman, David. "Five Things That Tempt a Man to Cheat." 28 May 97