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This question was asked in the category: Parties & Entertaining.
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Cherie Durbin (0 posts)
Contributor
Apr 21, 2010

Help! I'm Invited to a Party!

Help, everyone! I have a party to go to this weekend. There will be many strangers there, and I am very nervous. Is there anything I can do to calm my nerves and be better at ease at the party?

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Kate West (4 posts  +2 likes)
Contributor
Apr 28, 2010

Hi Cherie,

     Calming your nerves is definitely easier said than done- and there are lots of home remedies or self-teaching techniques you can use to train yourself to become more comfortable in social situations- but if this is causing you a lot of stress: you may want to consider seeking advice from a professional.  Anxiety is something that if left untreated or unmanaged for too long can be a very isolating condition. 

1) There may be a chemical imbalance that causes your endorphins to go into -hyperproduction mode; 2) it may be the cause of negative, over-analytical thoughts; or 3) it may even be a repercussion from negative events or mixed social experiences from your youth.  It could be a combination of all three of these frankly.  Whatever the issue is: you should know that all people DO experience anxiety at some point in one situation or another.  Anxiety is normal when it is manageable and it doesn't cause you to withdraw from ordinary social situations or cause you an amount of stress that does not correlate with the relative significance of a situation.  

If you feel that your anxiety about an issue is ballooned to a higher than normal proportion- than seeking out an expert for advice or treatment might be an option you'd like to consider.

I wish you all the best- don't sweat it girl!

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Dr. Johnson C Philip (0 posts  +197 likes)
Guide
Apr 22, 2010

What will others think is a thought that mentally kills many people. Please remember, your life is not dependant upon what they think about you. Be yourself, and be natural and you will win the day.

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John Paul V (26 posts  +40 likes)
Contributor
Apr 23, 2010

 What Shastri said! ^^, but if that doesnt Work;

Alcohol might Not be the answer but here are some Facts about consuming alcohol that i took of 1 of my aticles;

People drink to loose their Inhibitions, Alcohol naturally causes people to lose their inhibitions, it relaxes your body and mind, it makes you more sociable as it makes shy people loose their inhibitions


People drink for stress relief aswell, they get their minds off there problems, some people feel at ease when drinking.

Those with social anxiety disorder feel an exaggerated fear in the eyes of others, can not stand be negative judgments. Shyness becomes pathological. And the picture of anxiety causes dizziness, palpitations, nausea and all sorts of uncomfortable pain and bodily sensations.

 

Not suggesting you get wasted before the party but a few Drinks could help calm your nerves.

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Judith Barton (269 posts  +121 likes)
Moderator
Sep 20, 2010

Work on getting to know people and don't focus on yourself. If you pay attention to others you will soon forget about your nervousness.  Be gracious and friendly. Open the conversation with someone by just saying hello I'm Cherie, how long have you known ..... or... are you related to the birthday girl?...or... I don't believe we've met and extend your hand and introduce yourself. See if you can lend a hand in the kitchen or serving. Make a goal of trying to find out two things about as many people as you can. These are some of the things that I do.

 

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Sandy Shannon (395 posts  +257 likes)
Expert
Sep 20, 2010

With a party for a 3-year-old, the focus is going to be on the children. Although alcohol may loosen inhibitions, refrain from using that as your crutch. Instead focus on the other people at the party. The easiest way to engage in conversation is to ask the other persons questions about themselves. Keep the questions casual: their relationship to the birthday child, what kind of work they do, their children, etc. And smile and look at people as you talk. When you first come in to the room, if the focus is not already totally on the children, look around the room as you inhale, smile, and walk in confidently. I can almost guarantee you that there will be at least one other person who is also ill at ease because they don't know many people there. Greet your host/hostess and the birthday child (if possible). Your host/hostess should at least introduce you to a couple of people to get the ball rolling. What to avoid? Slinking into a corner or becoming the unofficial maid, helping to serve and to clear. Although it is polite to offer, remember that you were invited as a guest, not hired to make the party run smoothly. 

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Jill Vance (23 posts  +7 likes)
Authority
Nov 22, 2011

There will be others who are more nervous than you, so you will not be alone. Think of something you do well and imagine if the others would be better at it. This may be cooking, making a cocktail, being a friend, whatever. There will be at least one thing you can do better than the others and that should help your confidence. Have fun.

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LucyMay (3 posts  +0 likes)
Contributor
Nov 21, 2011

Hi Cherie

I'm actually new here, 1st time post even this seems nerve racking, but I thought give my answer and hope it helps you in some small way.

Whenever I go anywhere and have to meet and greet new people I always like to prepare myself with a few ready questions to fill that awful moment when the whole room goes quiet. Try to also memorize some answers, nothing worse than going blank.

At home I say, my looks have gone so I'll have to wow them with my wit, humor and intelligence.

Have fun at your party.

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savana joseph (0 posts  +26 likes)
Member
Jul 21, 2011

Hello,

you can go in that party and don't get nervous because your life is independant . Be yourself, and be natural and you will win the day.

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Irene Nevins (0 posts  +36 likes)
Guide
Sep 20, 2010

If the party is for 3 year olds, you need not be nervous at all. Focus is on the birthday child. If you are bringing your own child, your attention will be there. The conversation starter will center on "How do you know the birthday child?"

Make a game of trying to say hello to each guest and then remembering their names when you are not engaged in conversation.

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Cherie Durbin (0 posts  +38 likes)
Contributor
Apr 23, 2010

Ha, ha!! Best not to show up plastered, since the party is for a 3-year-old!

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