Tips On How to Not Be A Player Loser Part I

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Women often reject the manipulative player approach.

Understanding how to approach women without coming off as a player is one of the most difficult aspects of approaching women and the inevitable meeting “that someone special.”  Players have done more damage to the man/woman relationship dynamic alone than the total sum of every single anti-sex, anti-humanity, religious zealot, or anti-feminine, militant, lesbian, feminist, that has ever lived, combined.

Those pieces of garbage known as “players” have screwed up the personalities, hearts, minds, and the lives even, of their own unrecognized children, beyond repair.  So it’s safe to say that being a player, or even being seen as one, is not a worthwhile endeavor.  Those who might think they’re “cool” for behaving like ‘wanna-be players’ are usually simply mindless idiots.  These guys not worth looking up to at all.

But therein lies the rub:  Knowing how to approach women is so important to the entire desire of building any kind of a relationship that, last year alone multiple millions of dollars were spent by men, in the hopes of learning how to approach women.  The problem is, most of what you find on the web is from men hoping that you’ll buy their ebooks and guides, in hopes of becoming a player yourself.  Is this approach the right one?  Probably not.

Women are sensitive to these things.  Women are not the “little housewife” who just defers every single thought, opinion, or decision to the men in their lives anymore.  Women are all too aware of the player mentality these days.  If any “real” men want any kind of a real relationship, with a “real” woman, he’ll do good to recognize this fact.  Lip service is not sufficient.  A woman can see a player approach from a mile away.

This puts this author’s readers at an advantage though.  Knowing that women know, about men knowing how to be players, allows you the edge of learning how to approach women without being a player at all!  Readers of this publication will know that any woman they hope to meet will expect them to be real, honest, and genuine.  Even flaws are not worth trying to lie about to a prospective friend or mate.  We’re going to look at just a few of the small points here now:

How to Not Be a Player  tip number one:

Be a genuine man.  When a player makes an approach on any woman he’s all-too-often too “nice.“  Phoney “niceness” such as this from a player, is an attempt to approach a woman from a manipulative position, via their feelings.  Women can tell when a man is attempting to manipulate their feelings.  They don’t seem to appreciate it. 

This is not to say that you need to be a caveman (although cavemen would stand a better chance than most wimps of today) to know how to approach women.  It’s to say to be genuine.  Sometimes a woman will test you to see if you will back up what you might say about how great you are.

This is not a negative.  Women need to test their men to see if that guy can be relied upon in extreme situations.  It’s a survival strategy women have learned since from the caveman days of old.  Understanding this makes it a lot easier to be prepared for those tests.

How to Not Be a Player  tip number two:

Hold off on the shmoozy compliments…at first.  The number of men that women see coming every day with attempts at emotional manipulation ploys like compliments and sweet words are just too many to count.  You might not realize it but all those pre-emptive compliments are seen by women for what they are…attempts at manipulation of her feelings.

Showering her in compliments might’ve have worked back when you were in high school.  But you’re dealing with full grown women now.  Sometimes a guy just needs to bust their chops like any good friend. 

How to Not Be a Player tip number three:

Be a gentleman.  Sounds old fashioned.  Doesn’t it?  To be a gentleman isn’t to always be gentle.  Yes.  It involves opening doors, extending courtesies, offering seats, and things like that.  But the term “gentleman” actually originates as a social status.  Gentlemen were men of a noble nature.  High moral actions more define a gentleman than any verbal claims made.  Live by them and don’t claim to live by any code you haven’t learned about yet.  Rational honesty is the beginning of so much power when dealing with an attractive woman.

How to Not Be a Player tip number four:

Understand that sometimes a woman can just as easily be looking for a good time, just like you probably are, too.  There’s nothing wrong with it either.  In fact, there’s a crucial point in succeeding with women, that might not make a ton of sense to most male psychologies until it’s put into practice.  It goes against everything most men have ever been told about successfully interacting with women but here it is today anyway.  Good luck with it: 

Nobody else’s world is within your realm of control.  Mind your own borders. 

This little pointer might not seem as powerful of a tip as it really is.  Some might not even believe it at first.  But if a love life is something a man hasn’t found yet then why not give it a shot?  It can’t hurt!  Just before going into any public social setting a guy could remind himself of the previous mantra and he would find a lot more comfort within his own skin.

How to Not Be a Player tip number five:

When entering a room…eyeball nobody.  Lonely, desperate, and /or crazy guys eyeball the selection upon walking into a room.  The next time any reader of this work goes into a bar, or club for example, they need to make it a concentrated effort to ignore every single face in the room as they enter.  Make others work for your attention in stead of vice versa.

In a way, this sort of approaching women is to not approach any women initially.  Welcome certain advances warmly.  Just don’t act “desperate.”  We men often have a habit of coming off as desperate or “ill-intended” without realizing it.  If you are “ill-intended” be honest about it.  The percentages of success are pretty high.  It’s easy to approach women once you practice a few of the basic skills of how to not approach women as a player.


Personal experience


Dustin Braaten
Posted on Sep 13, 2012
Kate West
Posted on Mar 31, 2010
carol roach
Posted on Oct 5, 2009
Janet Hunt
Posted on Oct 4, 2009
Posted on Oct 4, 2009