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Passed over for a Promotion: How Do You Cope?

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You have worked long hours, did more than was expected of you, even short changed your family at times to get that promotion, and then management gives the job to someone else. It is absolutely devastating and your world comes crumbling down right before your eyes. I imagine some people are fortunate enough and go through life never really having to deal with such situations, but I believe for those who have been in the real world long enough, chances are that you have been passed over for a promotion at least once.

So, how do you cope and deal with the cards that have been dealt to you? How do you face your fellow workers when the word gets out? If I tell you that you need to suck it up and pretend nothing happened, then I would not be realistic. You need to give yourself time to mourn and come to terms with it. I say mourn because it is a great loss. It is the loss of your hopes, dreams and aspirations and it truly hurts to loose that which you have worked to hard to achieve. You need to give yourself time to really get over it and work through it, otherwise, you will not be able to move forward because you will be hanging on to what it could have been like. Once you can see past the cloud of frustration and hurt, look ahead and think of the possibilities. What other options are out there that you had not looked into because you were so focused on that one position that would result from a promotion.

And those fellow workers how do you face them for the days to come? You knew you had that job, and they probably did too. Plans were made for your new office and you were probably counting on maybe one of them working for you since you knew how good they were. But none of it is going to happen now. Well, dont feel ashamed, there is no reason for that. You, more than likely, worked hard and were deserving of the promotion and they know it. Nine times out of ten, your co-workers will be your biggest support system because they know how you feel and they know it could happen to them too. Dont be angry at them, let them be your comfort, it was not their fault. For that one employee out of the ten, who was envious of you because you were up for a promotion and is, therefore, happy you did not get it, dont worry what comes around, goes around, and when it comes to those kinds of people, their opinion does not matter anyways and what they think of your misfortune is worthless, just like them.

Are you going to be able to go back to work and give it your all once again or just coast until you can leave? Will your attitude toward your job ever be the same? Chances are that it wont. Feeling cheated and used, it is hard to work up the energy to do the same great job you once did. We are only human and it is human to react that way. As much as we would like to consider ourselves ethical and moral employees and, therefore, should give 100% again it is going to be hard, so it will be best for both yourself and the employer that you find employment somewhere else. Therefore, this is a time in your life when you should look at this situation as an opportunity, even though it is difficult to see it as such at the time, this is an opportunity to allow yourself to open up doors to new opportunities.

Look at all your options and think outside the box. It is not the end of the world, but the beginning of a new phase in your life. Normally, when we work so hard toward a goal, in this case a promotion, we loose sight of everything else that may be available for us out there, other opportunities and, therefore, short-change ourselves of those possibilities. Maybe this is the time to start your own business. Depending on your line of work, you may have enough expertise and know the right people, allowing you to make the right connections, that starting on your own may be the thing to do. If you choose not to become self-employed, go check with that one company that you always wondered what it would be like to work for and see what they have available, you may just be pleasantly surprised.

Lastly, do you take legal action? Well, this is a double edge sword. In some instances as much as you may feel you were passed over for some kind of discrimination, this is very hard to prove legally and you may be closing yourself doors with possible employers as they may then look at you as a trouble maker.

As hard as it may be to just look the other way and move on, remember to always take the high road because being passed over for a promotion is a classical case of making lemonade when life has handed you lemons.

Guiding thoughts, guiding words, for guiding minds .maribelclarissa

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Maritza Manresa

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