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Online Dating For Men: How To Succeed Even If You're Ugly

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An ugly guy can succeeed in dating online, especially if he's cunning and calculating like m... well, like a good friend of mine. Luckily for you "my friend" is willing to give up a few secrets.

Hey, I'm pretty ugly. Some of my past girlfriends and my current girlfriend likely would totally disagree with that assessment, but it's a fact. In spite of my hideous looks several of those girlfriends, including my current one, were a direct result of online dating. So a butt ugly guy can succeeed, especially if he's cunning and calculating like m... well, like a good friend of mine. Luckily for you "my friend" is willing to give up a few secrets.

Great looking women with ugly guy combinations are ubiquitous and a walk through any mall will prove that. Women will tell you they want a tall, handsome man with thick wavy hair or whatever, then six weeks later you'll see them with their new boyfriend. He's short, fat, bald and she's fawning all over him! What's up with that? What women believe they want has very little to do with what actually attracts them. A great deal of what actually attracts them has nothing to do with looks.

THE PHOTO. The profile photo is so important. In this environment women have a hard time assessing the things that actually attract them, so they default to evaluating your photo. If you choose to get your dates online you need to come up with a photo that gets them interested. Does that mean since you're ugly you have to use a fake photo or a photo from 1983 when you looked a lot better? No, that's a mistake. She'll figure out how deceptive you are within a minute of the first meeting and you'll get the cold shoulder for the rest of the date, which I'm guessing will last about five minutes.

  • Smile. Keep taking pictures until you capture yourself looking absolutely radiant!
  • Try a few pics where you're doing something kind of silly. If you can come across as carefree and spontaneous, both are huge attractors for some women.
  • If you have a physical flaw so unattractive there's no way to downplay it then consider playing it up. People love self-effacing humor! The majority of comedians are ugly guys but did you ever see one with an ugly wife?
  • Try photos wearing different clothes: a suit, jeans, red shirts, blue, etc.
  • Would a hat help or hurt? There are hundreds of types of hats out there. Find the one that works for you.
  • With glasses or without? Try both. But sunglasses are likely a bad idea, you'll probably come off like a weirdo.

Armed with dozens of photos start posting them until you find the one women respond best to, which then becomes your main profile pic.

THE PROFILE TEXT.  While a photograph that works is essential, if women like your pic they'll probably move on to your text. This is your chance to prove you exude the things women actually want in a man, things programmed deeply into their brains. And dude, forget trying to impress with things you own, that's a huge mistake many men make. A list of expensive things you own or a pic of you with your speed boat won't be viewed by most women as, "Wow, what a succesfull man!" Instead she'll view it as something that rhymes with "basshole"...and she won't be thinking of fishin' : )

My girlfriend's daughter is currently divorcing a man who she lived with in a mansion for a guy who just returned from duty in Iraq. He enjoys shooting machine guns at the firing range and lives in a room at the local Veterans of Foreign Wars. She's already moved into the V.F.W. Her soon-to-be ex is dumbfounded. But it makes perfect sense if you've ever heard the Cyndi Lauper song. She tells it straight: "Girls just wanna have FUN!" So true! Few care about living in a nice house, the ski boat, money...most say, "I'd rather live in a cardboard box with a man I love than have all the fine things in the world with a man I don't."

Now note that when you really pin them down the "cardboard box" mentioned above becomes, "Well, maybe at least a shed or a cabin...and it better have electricity and running water." So that carton the new fridge came in? You can toss it, it won't help.

I'll lay it out for you in detail: Women want a man with a degree of confidence, a great sense of humor and someone fun to be with. You don't have much of that going on? Well you better find some fast. In the meantime here's where you can get away with faking it just a little. Everyone has a little of each of those traits so you're not being totally deceptive and, hey, you're working on it, right?

Spin it a bit. Did you whitewater kayak ten years ago? Well that's exciting and portrays you as confident risk-taker. But don't say, "I went kayaking once back in the day." Good Lord dude, she'll read that as "What a boring man if the only exciting thing he's ever done was kayak one time like years ago....next!"

Say, "I enjoyed whitewater kayaking the first go-round and intend to go again as soon as the weather breaks!"  She'll be like, "Adventurous and fun, now that's my kind of guy!" Unless, of course, her last boyfriend drowned attempting to Kayak Lake Michigan or something.

If you aren't fun or funny it's not that hard to add a few fun activities into your life, watch a few comedy movies and such. After a while osmosis will take over and you'll be an attractive woman magnet. Okay, you'll at least attract a woman, just maybe not the hottest one on the planet and that's okay, if she's the right one for you that's all that matters. There's an old song from the 50's or 60's that covers that concept:

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife

My personal point of view? Get an ugly girl to marry you- Jimmy Soul "If You Want To Be Happy"

So keep that text portion down to about three or four paragraphs, come off as confident, funny and fun as you feel you're capable of pulling off in person, use the picture of yourself proven to reel them in and in spite of being an ugly guy you'll land your fish..er, I mean you'll book your date, in no time.  

2 comments

Felisa Daskeo
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Posted on Dec 4, 2011
Cindy Adams Watson
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Posted on Dec 4, 2011

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William Watson

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