Internet Dating Etiquette: How to Open the Conversation
Among various activities which everyone has to do in the course of online dating, writing the first message to prospective match is one of the greatest importance. Some useful tips on such writing are given below.
Your Choice First of all, you have to be choosy in your selection of potential dates. Remember that you are dealing with enormous pool of people, which renews on a daily basis. Online dating is a failure-proof business, because even if you will not reach candidate A, you will certainly hear from candidate B (or C). Just keep seeking. Moreover, even if you achieve seemingly great progress with one candidate, do not get stuck on it: keep looking. By the time of developing real relationship you better have your own choice, just in case if something will not work out well.
Challenge of first message All we want from our first message is to get an answer, and yet, even this seemingly easy thing is not always happens. Why? What makes other people to ignore our call even without any formal acknowledgement? Are we sounding too boastful, or too boring, or what?
If your call gets ignored, do not give up, never dwell on it, try improving your writing instead. Develop your own style, which makes you feel good about your literary efforts, try to avoid anything which sounds boring. One of the most successful approaches is writing message as a conversation with your addressee.
Nothing generic! Your first message must address each candidate individually: there must be nothing generic there. It is easy to tell generic stuff: it talks about the author, not the one who receives the message. So, for the sake of success, the core of your first message must be built on the key features of your addressee profile. The aim of the first message is to provoke a dialogue based on some mutual interests. This can be done only by asking your candidate some specific, only his (or her) profile-related questions. Of course, while asking those questions don’t miss to tell a bit about yourself.
Regarding the tone It is OK to flirt and tease (lightly) your addressee in the first message, but please, avoid anything which may be perceived radical. Not a word about sex, no claim that you are his (or her) perfect match. Seeing someone personal profile is not enough for making such claims. Keep the tone of your first message light and relaxed, almost as if you are introduced to a new business colleague.
Few more tips If you will not hear back from her (or him), it is quite likely is that your letter was not just good enough. Do not give up, try again and always keep in mind that it is unlikely that you are the only one who is writing to this person. This should encourage you to make your letter outstanding, compelling your candidate to reply! Feel free to add some element of a mystery to your message, ask questions, try to answer them for him, or her. And, if you will succeed and dialogue will ensue, never get dragged into a long online exchange, try to move to an offline date as soon as you can, because this is your purpose, this is why you have started all that in the first place!