How To Move On After Romantic Rejection And Why It May Hurt Deeper Than An Ending Relationship
Outsiders often do not understand how a person can be completely heartbroken after being rejected. For most, this is something they might not get. There never was a relationship, but just an intent, that did not get replied. Still the impact of such an event can be more intense and more life changing, than you might imagine.
But the truth is: you do not choose who you fall in love with. There might be somebody that you really love dearly and would have like to grow old with, get married and start a family, but this person falls for somebody else and you just have to accept this person marries him or her.
It is easy to say there was no relationship. Your feelings were real and so is your broken heart. Yes, a broken heart can be a serious medical condition and extreme emotions can cause that.
So when you really love somebody dearly, this is an immense feeling that makes you dream and hope. But suddenly, all your hopes and dreams get rejected and this provokes extreme emotions. When the rejection is quite harsh and quick, like this person is snapped out of your life at once, by rejecting you and never seeing you again, the shock can even be more intense.
People, who are broken hearted, do not only suffer emotionally, but also physically. Yes, they do have heart problems. It is scientifically proven.
Even worse, is when a person lies to you, giving you hope to be friends, but dumps you later.
There is no good way to reject somebody. If you are unable to reply to certain feelings, you can cause a lot of harm.
People do commit suicide because of a broken heart. Maybe it is not because they want to die, but just because they are mad with pain a painkiller seems not to work for. If the pain remains for months and it drives you nuts, you might just kill yourself to stop it. People in a lot of pain can lose themselves and do crazy things.
In rare cases, people die from the emotions alone.
So how do you move on. Time might tell. How long it takes to get over a rejection? This really depends on how much you have loved this person.
Fact is that it might take years. Some people end up broken for life.
It is easy to call them weak and unwilling. When you get romantic feelings, you do get a lot of hopes and dreams and there might not be just something else around the corner to replace the lost love at once.
Most people just hang on and keep hanging on, till it gets better, but you do have memories. There might be times you think back of the person that you really loved dearly and that picked another. At that time, it might have been happy moments. You were filled with love and excitement, just to have your dreams taken away in one moment of truth.
Being rejected by a total stranger, you just longed to dance with, is over in a flash. You may feel disappointed for a moment, but look for a next partner on the floor the next.
But when you had feelings that did not came just out of the bloom, bur grew during a time, like on a working floor, school, community, online, snail mail. The crack in your heart might be worse.
You have touchable memories about that person. You have pictures, e-mails, letters, and so on. Boxes of memories that haunt you, even if you burn them, and memories can hurt.
If you live near this person, you might have to move, for not seeing him or her with his or her partner and kids, while you are still alone.
You would have wanted this family with this person, but find nobody to replace him or her with. You just keep busy, trying not to think of it.
You may feel better at some moments, but on others, you may just break down and cry, when you get reminded to this person.
The best thing to do is just try to fill the holes in your live. Trying to forget this person is hard and might not always work. You may hope to find somebody else like the one that did not want you, but there is no guarantee this will happen and if so, there is also no guarantee he or she might love you either.
It is hard to say: do not focus on a relationship. You get used to being single, but the pain does not go away that easy and might always come back to you on certain moments.
If there would have been a relationship, it might not have lasted either, but in that case you might have had a reason to let go. When you were not with this person, the dream sort of remains and getting over is harder.
Deep down you are happy for this person and wish him or her the best, but the pain can cut extremely deep and the depressions might remain for years.
Starting another relationship, not being picky, just whatever you can get, to get over, might also not be a brilliant idea, since this person will not replace the one in your heart fully. But it might be better than just being depressed and it might set your mind on other things and give you a body to hold and express your feelings. Only will these feelings not be for the one you are holding and that is most likely a recipe for an even bigger drama.
Just moving on, stay busy and when it hits you, cry. There is nothing more you can do when the person you really love does not want you.
It may feel like becoming a widow or widower. You live on, but something is missing. You get yourself out of bed, try not to think and try to understand there are people who love you, so you just have to move on for them, even if you seem to have lost all purpose in life.
So instead of calling this person names, consider you might be the reason he or she is still alive and do not judge, unless you know the pain and emptiness he or she suffers.
When you lost somebody you really loved deeply, if did not matter how. But after a rejection, it is like you have to live as a widow or widower, with the corpse of your loved one still walking and lying with another.
Just do not try to feel guilty when you laugh and consider that the person who caused this, might not have loved you that deep, but might not like the have you suffering.