How to Be a Direct Person

Knoji reviews products and up-and-coming brands we think you'll love. In certain cases, we may receive a commission from brands mentioned in our guides. Learn more.
How to overcome shyness and become a more direct person.

Overcoming shyness is the first step to being direct.  When you are a direct person, you are not rude or insensitive.  People who are, are self-centered, not direct.  They are the ones who ruin it for others trying to learn how to maintain social etiquette.  If you've ever seen children speak their minds, it is because they do not yet know how to be afraid of doing so.  As we grow up, we learn that by saying or doing certain things, people may laugh at us, or reject us.  But if you are a strong person (mentally), you can overcome the taunts and be a direct individual.  It is a known fact that direct people get what they want.  Wouldn't you like to do the same?

Coming Out of Your Shell

In order to be direct, you need to realize its importance.  If you've ever heard comments people make regarding someone who is metaphorically "whipped", you know that they don't talk about that person favorably.  In fact, no one respects a doormat.  Who wants to be likened to an inanimate object, anyway?

When you are a direct person - and know how to communicate with empathy, using an engaging manner - you can have confidence to achieve your life goals.  There's nothing wrong with being ambitious.  What is, is failing to actively listen when speaking with someone else, or letting them take charge of the conversation and belittle you.  You have to know when to step in and take a stand.  If you don't, it is likely that no one else will.  If you refrain from being direct, because you are shy, you may also have issues with being honest with yourself and others, and you certainly won't have many friends with whom you share your innermost thoughts (if at all).  And if you think that is a good thing, you are missing out on what life has to offer!

We all experience rejection and shame at some point in our lives.  Introverts may be inclined to avoid as much embarrassment as possible, maybe even altering their interactions with others or types of people so that they don't get stuck in an awkward situation.  But if you have the ability to voice your opinions when they're needed, you will accomplish much more than having a quiet, isolated life.

That said, there is nothing wrong with being shy, but you need to ask yourself what makes you shy, and work towards feeling more comfortable.  If that is a problem for you, you might need outside help other than this article.  There is no shame in that, as chemicals in the brain or traumatic experiences can easily alter the brain's thought processes and cause perceived threats and fears for some people and not others.  But if you are willing to take a step to overcoming your shyness so you can at least be direct with those closest to you, if not strangers, then read on.

Being Direct in Conversations

There are two kinds of conversations you could have.  One is positive, and one is negative.  It could be due to topic, personality, or atmosphere.  Whatever it is, you have to be able to decide how to act.  It could be that your input is needed that would enable you to be promoted in your job.  Or, you could have a problem with a product you bought, and need to express your opinion of it for a refund.  You may even be at a car sales lot and don't want to be hassled by the salespeople who flock your way.  So speak up! 

There are also times when you could also be verbally attacked by someone who you know OR don't know; but what are you going to do about it?  If you find yourself offended, you must act immediately.  Doing so initially sends a strong message.  If you let it go, you can eventually let it get to you, or have it happen over and over again.  But by making your point, or even walking away at the first bit of trouble, you let the other person know you are not going to waste your time with his/her nonsense.  This might lead to an apology, in which case you can choose to accept it or move on.  However, it is when you entertain repeat offenders, that you are giving up your power of opinion and pave the way for long-lasting hurt.  Failing to be direct can ruin your life.

Be a More Confident You

When others know that they can't boss you around, you will feel free to accomplish your goals or try something new!  So start small, and assert yourself whenever you can; start by being honest with yourself, so that you can know when to change any negative behaviors you might have.  From there, handle conflicts with measures of wisdom and poise - and know that while no one is always right, you can be respectful in your opinions and interactions without being a jerk. 


Natasha Polak
Posted on Sep 16, 2010
Jerry Walch
Posted on Sep 16, 2010
Posted on Sep 15, 2010