How to Attain Your Love and Belonging Needs
Have you ever come across Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? It is a theory popular in Psychology, coined by Abraham Maslow and is portrayed in a shape of a pyramid. It implies that the most basic fundamental human needs placed at the bottom of the pyramid should be met first before an individual make ways to attain the secondary or higher level of needs.
The third level of the said pyramid consists of the love and belonging needs. Basically, Maslow’s theory suggests that each of us has this innate need to create meaningful relationships with people around us. How do we define need anyway? A need is something necessary for our own survival. It is something we strive to attain a healthy and well-balanced life; moreover, a deficiency of such can cause negative impact in our way of living. If love and belongingness are needs, how can we be able to attain it?
Love and belongingness when put together create in us a strong motivation to be with people and be part of something that is greater than ourselves. It is the need to give and receive affection in ways that will satisfy our desire to love and be loved. Sad to say, a common mentality seen in some romantic relationships defies the true essence of these needs. Love and belonging needs are supposed to be met by an individual alone. It should not be entrusted to your partner, family or even friends. It is not their job to satisfy these needs for you. People end up lonely and depressed not because of their lack of social interaction rather, they have failed to meet these needs in a way that can make themselves happy.
The first thing to do to fulfill your love and belonging needs is to simply love yourself. Be true to yourself and know who you really are. Don’t pretend to be somebody else just to fit in into other people’s lives. You won’t be able to hold such pretense for so long because truth is, you can never be comfortable with somebody you’re not. Loving yourself means you surrender to the true desires of your heart and this will reflect in your day-to-day interaction with other people. It is a way of accepting your capabilities, as well as your limitations. It is the insight that gives you inner peace and makes you establish harmonious relationships with people around you.
When you start loving yourself, you unconsciously break down the barriers built around you that keep you away from connecting with other people. You will soon feel that overwhelming sense of belongingness to the world and you don’t need anybody to do that for you. You can simply do it yourself. You just have to look in the mirror and love the person you see in it with no judgment at all.
Remember that the love you bestow upon others is reflected from within. You can only give love to a degree that you have for yourself. So give it a shot. Love yourself and spread the love. You won’t lose anything by loving oneself. You might be gaining more from the experience.