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Gay Dating Tips: Four Tips on How to Be Friends with an Ex Partner?

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Maintaining a healthy friendship with an ex can be a tough process after the end of a romantic dating relationship. Check out these four tips on how to create healthy friendship with an ex while maintaining clear boundaries.

[Apr. 8] Dating relationships, whether created through a chance meeting or online dating, when ended, can result in healthy friendships is approach the right way. In the LGBT community, as with many communities, it is common to remain friends with an ex-partner. Both gay and lesbian couples find comfort in knowing that a friend accepts them for who they are regardless of their sexuality, even if this friend is an ex-girlfriend! But what about when this ex-girlfriend is having trouble understanding that, while she is an important friend to you, she is just that, a friend? Being able to have a healthy friendship can make all the different in how you can offer each other solid social support down the road.


But how can you communicate your expectations to your ex without hurting their feelings and having yours respected?

Here are four tips on how to create a healthy friendship with an ex while maintaining clear boundaries:


Be assertive in how you let your ex know what you want.

Being assertive means that you communicate what you want in a clear, respectful manner, while taking the other person’s feelings and thoughts into consideration. Check out this website for more information on assertive communication.


Set clear limits from day one.

The earlier you make your boundaries known, the quicker both you and your ex will get accustomed to the new dynamics in your platonic relationship. If you decide that you are not comfortable with a certain situation, let your ex know right away. If you let things slide at first, it will harder to fix things down the road.


If you have decided to be just friends, it’s for a reason.

Sometimes keeping an old flame around as a friend is a way of keeping part of your relationship alive – this is not a healthy aspect to a future friendship. Remind yourself why you broke up in the first place and this will grant you a reality check. While you may sometimes slip into your old habits or dynamics, regular reminders that you are no longer a couple will facilitate both of your accommodating into your new roles. For instance, if you were used to talking to each other constantly, recognize that as friends, this may not be, and does not need to be, the case anymore.


Accept that a break-up comes with many changes.

Your ex may find a new girlfriend or boyfriend. While you may have been number one on their list of priorities, this may no longer be the case. With this in mind, if they bring someone new around, and you really do care for them as a friend, be mindful of how you treat this new partner. The more positive and supportive you are of their decision, if it is a new healthy relationship, the better your friendship will be in the long-run.


How have you handled being friends with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend? Did it work out for you? What worked?

What did not work in your post-break-up friendship?



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