Expressing Yourself Sexually to Your Partner

Knoji reviews products and up-and-coming brands we think you'll love. In certain cases, we may receive a commission from brands mentioned in our guides. Learn more.
How to express your sexual needs and desires to your mate.

Why is it that we have such a difficult time expressing to our partner what we want out of sex? Fantasies, we all have them, but is discussing our sexuality still such a taboo subject or so embarrassing that we have trouble expressing our needs or desires to the person with whom we share our bed? Expressing your desires, whether it be romantic to, um let’s say a little on the kinky side can be almost impossible to difficult at best. Why is that? There are a multitude of reasons, embarrassment, fear of rejection, fear of opening up, or maybe it’s just that your partner is a withdrawn person and communication is nearly impossible.

We should be able to open up to our mates with the deepest of our desires out of our sexual relationship but so many people have trouble with this. Some fantasize about a romantic sexual relationship with their partner, but they find it falling a little short. It seems that they get into bed, have sex, end of story. Yet, the person who wants more romance is left asking, “Where is the gentle foreplay? Where is the candlelight and soft music?” They are left wondering when they became a wham-bam-thank-you and goodnight.

Speaking of foreplay, some are left scratching their heads wondering what happened to foreplay. They know it exists, somewhere out there, just not in their bedroom. They want the long, drawn out precursor before actual copulation but too many times it falls way short and can leave them wanting more. Some people want to be touched from head to toe before actual sex. They need it to bring them to that warm tingly spot that makes sex so outstanding. In the end the sex becomes rudimentary and just down right boring.

What is a person to do if their desires run a little on the kinky side? What if they like it a little rougher, not all the time, but once in awhile. This is probably one of the darker sides to people's natures that some are unwilling to explore, much less express. They think there is something inherently wrong with them and that their thoughts are naughty. Express these things to their partner, ”No way!” they say to themselves. “My mate will think I have lost my mind.” This is probably one of the hardest things for any person to express.

There is no generalization here, men have just as hard of a time as women expressing their wants, needs and desires. Many times, whether it’s wanting to express there desire for a softer, more romantic sex life or the desire for a little bit more kink, some people have trouble expressing their desires to their mate. “What’s a person to do?”  How does one go about expressing to their partner what it is they want? Here are some ideas.

  • Read some of the articles in women’s or men’s magazines that specialize in covering sexual topics such as Cosmopolitan or Maxxim. Both are great resources for men and women. If you hit on an article that hits you in your G spot you should share it with your mate. That may get the ball rolling.
  • Read  a few erotic novels that appeal to that part of you sexual nature that you are having trouble expressing and share the ideas with your mate subtly and see how they react to what you tell them you are reading, it may just surprise you how open they really are and you just never knew it.
  • Rent a couple of exotic movies that appeal to the side of your nature that you are trying to express to your mate and watch them together.This usually helps get the ball rolling. 

In the end you will probably just have to bite the bullet and spit it out to get what it is you want before traipsing off to the nearest escort to fulfill your fantasies. You may be richly rewarded for your efforts of communicating to your partner what you want. Tread carefully though, you don’t want to frighten them off or cause yourself the pain of rejection. Some people have to be handled with kid gloves when it comes to the subject of sex. If you do finally manage to communicate what you want you will most likely have some of the best, most mind bending sex you have ever had.

Sexual expression


New Energy
Posted on Jan 11, 2012
Virginia Grant
Posted on Jan 10, 2012