Dump Things Not to Do When You're Dumped
A break up can be the worst thing that ever happened in your life, it may be difficult to believe at the moment, but you need to accept it says a renowned author. It's been an age-old puzzle how some men can leave a seemingly ideal woman in favor of some cheap thrill. And if you're the woman who's been dumped, nothing can be more painful and humiliating than learning that the other woman is not even as smart, as successful or as pretty as you are.
Now that he's out of your life, leaving you with memories of all those good times, how do you move on? How are you coping with the loss, the pain of rejection, and with the anxiety that being dumped brings?
Countless magazine article have proffered precious advice about what to do after breakup? For this piece, a famous author warn you about things you should never do, stuff that you might resort to when the loss of your love drives you to the brink of madness and desperation.
A pschologist shares dumped things not to do when you're dumped:
- Self-pity. Indulge in self-pity will merely delay your recovery. Tell yourself, even if your ex indeed had reason to dump you, that it was his loss- not yours say a psychologist. Breakups have a way of eroding one's self-respect. Every morning, upon waking up, do this affirmation; tell yourself you are whole, you are light, you are the sunshine in anyone's life.
- Stalking. Tailing your man, discreetly will only serve to delay your healing. You need to constantly remind yourself that it's over and that you are no longer on control of circumstances. Let him go and let him be. Stop yourself for visiting your ex's hangouts, or fishing for information about him or his new girl.
- Badmouthing. Now you want to make life miserable for him by exposing his flaws, has deep secret- because you hate him for kicking you out of his life. Mounting a smear campaign against your ex could boomerang on you. Friends can always say that you're just bitter and resentful says a psychologists.
- Total Withdrawal. According to psychiatrist, rejection could kill your confidence; you shouldn't let it rob you of your zest for life. You can't bring him back, so leave him right where he is, move on, and don't look back. In time, your wounds will heal, you will shed your fears, and realize that life is good and love is sweet.
Rejection can cause so much pain
- Public scandal. Some women resort to acts of vengeance when their two-timing boyfriends dump them for another woman. The desire to humiliate the other woman may be strong, but hitting back at someone who probably has nothing to do with the breakup is never the solution. It won't heal the pain and someday, the disgrace and indignity of a scandal will come back to haunt you says a guidance counselor.
- Escapism. Most women turn to alcoholism and drugs to escape from their problems. Turning to booze may bring you temporary relief from heartache, but your pain comes rushing back as soon as morning comes. Remember that alcohol is depressant; drowning your sorrows on bear and whiskey, vodka or gin won't mend your broken heart.
Some women turn to drugs and alcoholism
- Self-destruction. Undoubtedly one of the most dump things women do is in the name of heartbreak is slash wrists, gulp bottles of insecticides, overdose on sleeping tablets, or leap from the 15th floor of a building. A suicide attempt won't bring him back to you. A suicide attempt is also emotional blackmail. And blackmail, in any form never, ever works according you an author.
In the name of heartbreak some slash wrists
Remember that in your darkest hour, life is so much worth living. Prayer, the support of friends and loved ones, and emotional acceptance on your part will help you through this crisis.
Resource: Women's Journal