Missing or losing opportunities can be seen by humans in differing perspectives. It can be in terms of job or occupation, education, personal or family reasons and the like. This article gives 6 practical steps to deal with missed opportunities.
1. Admit one’s inaction and fight the inner critique. One of the basic steps to deal with lost opportunities is to accept that a mistake has been done. This is an effective way to contradict the guilt feeling which continuously bothers a person of having taken no action. It is important to remind one’s own self that the past cannot be changed, so constantly repeating a mistake in one’s mind is like repeating a bad mantra that could worsen up a person’s state of mind.
2. Be independent, yet call a friend. When one gets frustrated due to lost opportunity, it is normal to spend some time alone while trying to handle the problem at hand. However, this is not always the case because independence is not forever based on doing things alone. Being independent here means bearing one’s pain without negatively affecting others. Expressing one’s reaction over the loss and asking for possible solutions can help the person deal with lost opportunities more effectively. This is also helpful because a friend or other persons might see the loss in a different or even brighter perspective. And this too, can lead to better results.
3. Cry, but don’t forget to smile. Denying the sadness due to missed opportunity won’t help. So why avoid having a good cry? Just remember the importance of giving one’s self a specific duration to feel the pain, and let it come to its end, and smile. In facial feedback theory, smiling tells the brain that everything is alright. And when one feels good, he or she becomes more rational in dealing with lost opportunities.
4. Freak out, but stay calm. This may sound contradicting. However, this too, is an effective way of coping with missed opportunities. Freaking out is not only limited to profane verbal expression. It can also be done in more peaceful and effective way such as writing in a diary or journal, or shouting in place where no one else can hear the words of regrets or anger. Retaining one’s composure despite the distress brought by the loss is healthier and can have more positive effects than staying jumpy for a very long period of time.
5. Doubt, but still believe. When one has not been able to grab the opportunity that just came in, it is just normal to be doubtful of one’s ability to succeed. Seeing one’s self as a failure is actually one of the common reactions after missing an opportunity. However, trusting one’s self is still a powerful tool for success, than being doubtful. One has to believe that he or she is still capable of formulating and achieving something despite loss if he or she really wants to. Also, believing that something good is going to happen attracts positive vibes than grieving.
6. Embrace uncertainty, but take control. For example, in applying for a job, it is inevitable to be anxious about it. And when one missed the prospect occupation due to uncontrollable circumstances, it could lead to feeling of rejection and even uncertainty. In reality, a person may not control everything. Nevertheless, he has the control over his own thoughts and actions. When the best shot did not work, it would be helpful to think that one can still do better than yesterday’s best. Just feel the anxiety but still, take control.
When situations get out of control, it is much easier to control one’s own thoughts and actions. Dealing with missed opportunities may be easier said than done. But considering the above tips would surely make a difference and could lessen the burden brought by the loss.
©Copyright Lorizza Posadas April 2012