All of the Classic Signs and Symptoms of a Cheater

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Infidelity occurs in 70% of relationships according to recent poll by sexistics. Often times our intuition leads us right to it, however we still ignore the signs. Our intuition isn't always 100% correct, but nine times out of ten it proves to be valid.

Infidelity occurs in 70% of relationships according to recent poll by sexistics. Often times our intuition leads us right to it, and other times we ignore the signs all together. Our intuition isn't always 100% correct, but nine times out of ten it proves to be valid. In this article you will find the most common signs of a cheater. Having one or more sign present doesn't mean they are cheating for sure. These signs typically become present over the course of the relationship. They sprout up so to speak. If your partner has always prided themselves in their appearance, do not count that as a sign or symptom. This list is only for newly developed behaviors.

1.) Taking more pride in personal appearance:  New clothes, cologne/perfume, new shoes, handbags etc. Always looking his/her Sunday best when leaving without you.

2.) Drastic changes with the hair or more consistent upkeep: Cut, coloring, style, etc. Women are notorious for coloring their hair when in crisis. Both men and women when cheating suddenly find general maintenance more necessary.

3.) Being overly nice or picking a fight just to get away: Or are they using the notorious “Time to think or work to do” excuse. Cheaters will do whatever it takes to get away with their actions, and are not above picking a fight just to get their way. It is a free ticket out of the house to do whatever they want. After all, they are fighting with their mate. In their mind, it makes sense.

4.) Is he/she leaving the house more frequently? Not always the case-work affairs happen SO often and their time is mostly accounted for. If this is the case perhaps you need to follow your instincts. If you suspect something in the work place lunch time will be a great time to bust them in the act.

5.) Leaving you with the children knowing you won’t take them to check up on him/her: If you find yourself home with the children a lot, or your mate often leaving when the children are in bed, this too is a sign. Often cheaters who are married will wait until the children are in bed, and their spouse can't check up on them. It is their safe way to cheat. They know their partner will not wake up the children, to try and bust them. If your partner is making up excuses to get away at night, that may be a clue.

6.) Listening to new music: When we experience heartache, heartbreak, and love what do we do? Most of us dive into music. Pay close attention to the genre of music, especially the lyrics. Most ladies are huge on lyrics. If she is walking around singing "Irreplaceable" that may be a clue.

7.) Spends A Lot Of Time On The Computer: This one is harder to determine in this era of technology. However, the clue here would be the secretiveness of being on the computer. Are they suddenly closing the screen when you walk in the room? Or will he/she only use the computer when you are not around, or when you are in bed?

8.) Is he/she doing things/activities and you are not welcome or even invited to attend? Often times, when cheating the cheater will attend sudden activities. And their mate is not invited. Sometimes the excuse given by the cheater is "I just found out about it" "it was time with the girls/guys" or "I didn't think you would want to go"

9.) Has he/she mentioned unhappiness in the relationship in the last 6-12 months? A cheater, at some point will have voiced their unhappiness. In most cases. Some may not say it directly to you, so look around. Look through journals, things he/she might read, etc. Sometimes we have to read into things.

10.) Are there any unusual numbers on his/her cellular phone bill? This is always an interesting one, yet hard to prove sometimes. Often the person they are cheating wit, will lie for them too. Cheaters stick together. You may need to find a creative way to fish for information if new numbers are appearing on the bill, or in the phone directory itself.

11.) Has he/she been more secretive? Withdraw and secretiveness are big signs! When in a partnership, there is no room for secrets. If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing. 

12.) Has he/she recently suffered from depression? Depressions can really mess with a persons mental state. In a state of depression, it often only takes a few nice words to trigger an affair to begin. If they are depressed, listen closely to him/her. Build him/her up with words. Another person nice words can often be an excuse as to why someone cheated. Examples: "There was just something missing" "They said things to me I haven't heard in years" "It will only one person to be nice to me"

13.) Has he/she recently lost a loved one? Losing a loved one, depending on the depth of that relationship can cause an identity crisis. A lot of affairs occur after the loss of a parent. The cheater feels a need to live like they are dying. And sometimes begins searching for that ultimate satisfaction and happiness. They sometimes want something fresh, and someone not associated with their recent loss.

14.) Has he/she been mentioning friends you haven’t heard of? If he or she begins to say things like "I'm meeting my old friend John, we are going fishing" question it. Ask to meet this friend, or see a picture. Ask a lot of questions, their reaction to your questioning will give away wether or not John is who they will be seeing. If they get mad that you ask who John is, their defensiveness gives them away. Often they will try to turn the situation around if they feel interrogated, and pin you as jealous or controlling. DO not let him/her get away with that. Suspecting cheating, doesn't make a person jealous or controlling.

15.) Has he/she been hiding their cellular phone? Most cheaters will not leave their cell phone out in the open. They will carry it everywhere they go, especially in marriages. You may even find that they leave it locked in their car, and they hide their keys. They will also give their "friend" a fake name so it can not be spotted in their phone directory so easily. If you see names you do not recognize, question it. You won't know unless you ask.

These are all of the major signs of a cheater. So many affairs fly under the radar and these are obvious signs. If you have answered yes to a few of these, you likely have some research to do about your partner. Sometimes you can trick them in to coming clean without providing hardly any information. Other times, you have to have solid proof. Either way, you will know what you need to know. And 9 times out of 10, the instincts that led you to question it in the first place, were right. The most important thing for you to figure out before beginning an investigation or interrogation process is this: Can you handle the truth? Do you really want to know? Or has your heart told you what you need to know already?

The symptoms mentioned doesn't guarantee that your spouse, lover, or life partner is cheating. However in most relationships where infidelity has occurred, most of these signs were present. They were just overlooked, and ignored.


Jerry miler
Posted on Aug 28, 2016
Jones Henry
Posted on Jun 30, 2016
Megan Sheldon
Posted on Mar 17, 2010